LETTERS: STRAIGHT MEN HAVING STRONG FEMALE LEANINGS

Letter from a reader

I have had urges for women’s clothes since I was a young boy. The thing is, I am straight.

It has nothing to do with sexuality or wanting to sleep with a man. It’s the desire for dressing in woman’s clothes that is the ‘problem’. Sometimes I wonder whether I am weird or not normal. It is not a fetish but a serious urge.

I was brought up with a staunch Catholic upbringing, in a society where being adverse is taboo. All I wanted is to be accepted.

In the meantime I got married and had children, whom I love to bits. The urge for me to cross-dress is always present, but am overly cautious not to have impact on the family’s wellbeing. I try to dismiss it by telling myself not to be gay. I read and research articles by boys/men being cross-dressers or sissified by their mums or partners, wishing it was me.

To entertain this urge I do photo shoots at least once a year, where I get into the part and for once feel comfortable with myself. A photographer friend of mine, being professional and discreet, helps me in this. I sometimes feel that I am living in fantasy world and, albeit surrounded by people, feel lonely and unloved as I feel not understood.

Recently I opened up to a friend, a rare open-minded person, who understood me and understood that the inner me should be happy. She suggested therapy. However, knowing the society we live in and the impact it might have on my family I would prefer being discreet. I am going to do it with an open mind.

Photo credits: Carolina Georgatou

I recently was asked out by a man, but my urge isn’t to be gay or have a gay relationship, but being open and dressing as a woman as much as I can. If a circumstance arises to be asked out when in a dress, frock or skirt, I could weigh my options and the situation I will be in. In reality are straight men really straight or can their sensuality be tweaked?

Is the Maltese society ready to accept cross-dressers openly? Is it a message to warped-minded men that they want sex or just to be treated as women with dignity?

Cross-dressers, after all, are happy to be men and do manly stuff, but have a strong soft side that could be overwhelming if not addressed.

Are Maltese women accepting and open-minded enough in helping their husbands, boyfriends, partners, sons to seek their urges and be happy? This isn’t the machoism they were brought up with. Are they ready to love unconditionally?


This mail is sent via the Intimus form on Eve. The letter has been edited for clarity.