AN OPEN LETTER TO PEOPLE WHO WALK SLOWLY

Dear Slow-Walkers,

I often find myself behind one of you perfectly able-bodied people when you decide that a random Tuesday is a perfect day for a leisurely stroll on a narrow pavement. I also often find myself on the edge of pushing you aside and telling you off.

Thankfully for you, I don’t condone any sort of violence so I have, instead, decided to write you this letter and explain my situation.

I am a working mother with no staff to go out and run my errands for me, so my time is rather precious, particularly as I rarely have any which is not taken up by work, my child’s appointments and/or chores. When I’m out on the polluted streets of Malta, it’s rarely because I want to go for a walk and enjoy the scenery of construction sites and cranes. It’s usually to get from Point A to Point B, get sh*t done, and return home.

But, I don’t know, you seem to think that you own the pavement. Like you’ve inherited it like you’ve very clearly inherited your (lack of) manners. And, yes, blocking a whole pavement while walking – quite literally – at a snail’s pace is bad manners.

We live in 2017, people are busy.

I take showers in the 10 minutes allocated to them at odd hours of the day; I eat while typing; I put on make-up in the car before I step out of it. Yet you, the random person God decided to punish me with on that particular day, think it’s okay to walk slowly and waste my time. You think it’s okay to walk like death is waiting for you on the other side and you’d rather be walking backwards.

I have to admit that part of this hate is envy, because I really do wish I could one day not give enough damns about people to waste their time like it was mine to do so with.

So, please, for the love of all things you hold dear: HURRY UP. Trump is President, Brexit is happening and my son just turned 13. I genuinely have no time left to waste.

Truly Annoyed,

Evelyn

Do you have anything to say to slow-walkers?

Are you a slow-walker with something to say?