NAKED IS NOT SEXUAL

In an age when we are more connected with electronic devices than with real people, there is a great famine for simple touch.

It’s very likely that daily intimacies were missing in your upbringing. Even some children were not hugged. This was less common, but still a reality for many children. The result of all this is a generation after generation of people hungry for love, hungry for touch and full of guilt. For a short time in life, children run around naked, but then are told they must cover up and not be seen naked. Nudity and touch have become taboo subjects. Even in the changing rooms at the gym or the swimming pool, do you feel inhibited, and hide in a cubicle to change?

Each culture has its own taboos and rules, many of which make no sense to observers. But the people suffering these taboos carry trauma and fear, which passes onto the next generation until someone has the courage to break the cycle. It’s natural that we don’t have sex in front of children, not just for legal purposes, but also because we want to protect their innocence for as long as possible. Their first sexual education will come from their peers or from the internet. Do you want them to learn all the wrong things? It’s better to be honest and guide them to be aware and to behave in a slow, respectful loving way, which is not how sex is usually portrayed where they can access it easily.

When people are regularly naked together, there is a relaxed energy. We are in our natural state when naked. The air is not charged with sexual tension. In Denmark, nudity is permitted on every beach and common in saunas. In Berlin there are public parks for naturism. In most of Europe, topless bathing is allowed on the beach, and many beaches are officially or unofficially nude beaches.

 

Breastfeeding mothers create another naked controversy. This is the most natural and of course non-sexual activity. Women have created the Free the Nipple campaign following the release of the 2014 film of the same name. Even in Malta, signatures are being sought to bring this human right to women.

Many taboos and practices exist around sexuality and around women and their rights, or a serious lack of rights in some countries. In Saudi Arabia, women are banned from driving. In many African countries, parents inflict genital mutilation on their young daughters in the false belief that it will make them faithful to their future husbands. In fact, it creates serious issues of health and psychological trauma. In Asia, women are stoned to death for suspicion of adultery, and many are forced to marry a man they’ve never met, often because he pays money to the poor family for his child bride.

In Europe and America, it was common to tell children that they would go blind if they masturbated. In some US States, a massage therapist breaks the law if they massages the breasts of a female client, despite much evidence to show why breast massage is important for one’s health, and that a breast massage is a normal part of a body massage in to many people.

An older woman spoke on a video that until age 35, she thought she had a deformity because her inner labia extended beyond her outer labia. Such ignorance helps no one. Nudity allows us to see the variety of body shapes. No two are the same. All have their own beauty. Self-esteem comes from accepting what we are.

There is so much trauma and guilt in men and women from multiple taboos and conditioning. It’s time to break these and to consciously put an end to this suffering. Healing starts at home before national and religious rules or beliefs can be changed. Here are some suggestions all of which are non-sexual. We must move away from the idea that nudity and touch are sexual. They can be of course, but only when there is sexual intention.

 

Find a safe space and a group of people to get naked with, physically and emotionally. In Malta, being naked in public is illegal, unlike most European countries which are less repressive. Understand that to give yourself loving touch over the whole body is your right. Hug yourself every day and tell yourself you are perfect as you are.

Hug more. Ask friends for a hug. Attend cuddle parties. Make group hugs with all generations. Older people miss hugging too. Treat yourself to a professional tantra massage. The whole body is massaged to unblock energy to flow freely around the body. It is ideal to bring healing from sexual and body guilt without any sexual goal.

All of these suggestions can feed the hunger I mentioned at the start in a conscious, non-sexual way. Drop the burden of guilt to feel happier with yourself and with life.