FABULOUS FAUX FUR

It’s my only true love, darling. I live for fur. I worship fur. After all, is there any woman in this wretched world who doesn’t? – Cruella de Vil, 101 Dalmatians

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My passion for fur runs parallel with Cruella’s. The only difference is I don’t go massacring litters of puppies and Siberian tigers to obtain it. I fervently advocate the use of faux fur, and so should you. Indeed, the argument still holds that real fur is more environmentally friendly than the production of its fake counterpart, but I simply do not have the heart or stomach to know that an animal was slaughtered in the name of frivolity.

But yes, I do love my faux fur coats and collars. Whenever I slip one of mine on, I get one hell of a power rush. The opulence of fur compensates for my itsy bitsy teeny weeny tiny person. It’s also incredibly cosy and makes for a great replacement when there aren’t any cats around to stroke.

Here in London, a faux fur coat isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. No way will you survive the frosty temperatures on a night out along the river bank without one of these thermal giants. But this is not to say that they don’t have their uses in Malta. They’re excellent for surviving our damp and humid winters, and we’re lucky enough to be able to slip on a slinky dress and just throw on the fur without dying of hypothermia before cocktail hour. They’re glamorous and practical, and they can enhance any day outfit into going-out gear.

Every year, I dedicate a few days or so to scouring every corner of the worldy widey web to check out the latest styles within the fur department. I came across a glorious blush pink mink coat by Valentino priced at £24,000. That’s more than the average person’s salary. But that’s the problem with shopping for fur, you see. You’re bound to stumble upon something to remind you of the oligarchic capitalist-run world we live in.

By my God, it’s so beautiful.

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Above: Valentino Coat

 

Leopard Print

Atrocities aside, fur is big this winter. Blame it on the upcoming Ice Age and the Night’s Watch. Not only that, but every window display in Oxford Street is proudly peacocking leopard print fur coats. Every clothing brand under the sun has its own interpretation of this loud and lairy staple. We’re all going to look like protagonists from Eastenders. The powers that be in the fashion industry have given us the go-ahead to explore our inner ħamalla with this garment. Fair dos, perhaps I’m being a little conservative with my outlook, so don’t let me stop you from pulling this look off. By all means, experiment like it’s 1999. Leopard print tends to go better with blonde hair and a bit of height, so long as it’s the only item in your outfit with a pattern. Rest assured, the only leopard coat you’ll catch me in is Shania Twain’s.

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Monochrome Fluff

Can’t decide what colour to go for? No worries, with many coats and jackets in the stores this year, you’ll be able to have the best of both worlds. Similar to Cruella’s trademark choice, black fur with white tips combined with a foundation colour such as red is a recurring style this season. Brands are also going for long, shaggy flamboyant fur, a bit like Ms de Vil’s hairstyle, really.

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Plush Parka

There’s a wonderful selection of shabby chic parkas, where the everyday wear khaki jacket is adorned with a fur trimmed hood in either pink, red or blue. They’re absolutely divine, though you’d have to be careful that your colours underneath don’t clash.

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Belted Beasts

Regal as it may seem, fur sometimes has the habit of dwarfing and widening the figure, especially if you don’t choose something that is tailor fitted. Unfortunately, loose and baggy is the forecast trend this coming season. We’re not all androgynous waifs who’d make a bin bag look on point. Look for something that can be cinched at the waist in order to create an elegant silhouette.

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Collared Creature

Just as an A line coat can eliminate your figure’s assets, so too can the wrong collar. A round fur collar won’t do your neck line any favours, whereas a Chinese fur collar will make you feel like an empress. Hooded fur coats also create a stunning V collar that enhance the décolletage and the shoulder, whilst also providing instant sanctuary for your hairstyle should a downpour come about. I also find it’s great to hide under when you want to avoid speaking to someone.

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