HOW TO EXPLAIN MALTESE QUIRKS

As you may have read in my previous article about how some Maltese people react to foreign quirks, I had been dating a really good-looking foreigner. But that’s all over now (I think my Auntie Edwina had, in fact, scared him off) and I’m just going to stay single for a while. So gentlemen, please stop messaging me on Facebook. Especially if you’re married. Shoo. Go away.

Anyways…

When I was still dating, one thing I always found slightly challenging was explaining certain Maltese quirks to my foreign gentleman. So, as a celebration of Maltese identity and as a how-to just in case you need it, here are some questions I had to answer.

“Wait, you celebrate St Patrick’s Day?”

We love a good party and we’re Catholic. So, we’ll drink to pretty much anything! We’ll close roads for saints who may or may not exist, we get trashed on Guinness to honour St Patrick, and we’ll carcade when Milan, Inter or Juventus win an important game.

san-patric-day-valletta

 

“Exactly how many times in a summer do you guys have fireworks?”

Pretty much every day, really. I mean, how else were we meant to become one of the best nations for fireworks in the world? But, hey, we don’t have that many on New Year’s Eve, so I guess it makes up for it.

“Maltese people really drink a lot… But somehow they’re not as rowdy as some other nationalities. Why’s that?”

Alcohol is not so much of a taboo in Malta. People drink a glass or ten of wine with lunch on Sundays and holidays, they go out to wine bars at least once a week, and, unfortunately, some of our teens start to indulge in booze at a dangerously young age. We binge, but we somehow manage to get away with it more often than not. Have I mentioned that we’re special?

to-get-away-with-it

 

“You’re driving after having two glasses of wine?!”

This is a tricky one. Of course, I am in no way advocating drink-driving and I cannot stress enough how we really shouldn’t do it. But I’m also a realist, and I understand that a person who had two normal-sized glasses of wine with a meal can most probably drive home safely.

“What’s this show about?”

I wish I knew myself if truth be told. They’re a family and they live in a house. One of them has just come out and the other is being harassed by a drug dealer – you know, just normal, everyday things. It’s Maltese TV; it somehow speaks to us but not sure it will to anyone else.

maltese-tv-show

Image source: Twitter

 

“So, why are rabbits not considered pets in Malta?”

They’re not considered pets. A lot of people have pet rabbits. But we eat them too, so long as they’re nobody’s pets. We also eat horse meat and snails (yes, like the French). And don’t look at me that way. The Brits ate all this stuff during World War II as well; we just developed a liking for them.

“Since everyone is either Labour or Nationalist from birth, who do you side with?”

Neither.

And there you have it, folks. Malta explained!

Brigata-Laburista-with-KMB

 

What other national quirks can you think of? And how would you explain them to a foreigner?

Let us know in the comments section!