GHOSTING IN MALTA

Ghosting is when someone you’re dating just stops texting completely. One day, you’re out having a chat over a nice meal, him holding your hand and telling you how he’s “never met a woman like you before”, and one week later, you’re still wondering if he died on the way home. Of course, this isn’t perpetrated only by men, but my experience happened to be with one, so I’ll focus on that.

Do people in Malta seriously think that they’ll never bump into someone they’ve just left high and dry? On an island that is overpopulated, overbuilt and just 316 Km², how do some people think they’ll get away with it?

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When you’ve been dating for the best part of 30 years, you assume you’ve seen it all – the most loving relationships turn into ruthless break-ups, the sweetest of people turning into the dirtiest of liars, the most unlikely matches turning into potential everything. But, as a recently single-and-ready-to-mingle woman, I’ve noticed a trend I had never come across before…

I consider myself to be quite a self-sufficient and happy single woman. In the wise words of the Pussycat Dolls, “I don’t need a man to make it happen”. But, when someone is running his fingers through my hair one minute and totally ignoring me the next, it’s quite natural to question every single moment of the date, to analyse every single word you’ve said, and wonder if they were just too shy to tell you that you smelt bad or had bad breath.

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When I spoke to some single girlfriends of mine – turns out the married ones don’t seem to be in touch with the woes of us singletons – they also reported similar events.

“But… This is a man I see out and about on a regular basis… He lives two streets away, for Christ’s sake! How can he be so sure we’ll never bump into each other?” I found myself yelling in disbelief.

Well, whether he was sure we would or wouldn’t doesn’t matter much now that we’ve actually bumped into each other. And by bumping into each other, I mean me yelling at him in the middle of the road while brandishing a reusable supermarket bag. See, this is the problem with people who ghost: they don’t know the meaning of respect.

That’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Yes, I went down that road. Cue the music.

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It’s bad enough that you first give off all the wrong signals. Then again, let’s put that aside because anyone can change their mind. We’re only human. However, the fact that you’d go so out of your way to hurt someone who was reciprocating your advances, only to drop them like a piece of used paper, is beyond me.

And how can you think you’ll be able to do it Malta out of all countries? I bump into my butcher three times a week as standard, so why wouldn’t I bump into you?

If you have something to say, just say it. I’m a big girl, I can take it. If you don’t, just say that you don’t. Be a man or a woman and do the right thing.

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Have you ever been ghosted? What was your experience like?

Let us know in the comments section below.