A QUICK GUIDE TO NURSING A HANGOVER

It’s exactly 12.54pm, and as I’m writing this, I can barely look at the screen without bobbing my head, wondering what in God’s name happened last night…

That was an overly ambitious 5 minutes; here I am 10 hours later, back to writing.

In the words of Sheldon Cooper, memory impairment is “the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.” Oh, how true those words ring! The sad part of it all is, this territory seems to be all too familiar, albeit very occasional nowadays, since I’m no longer in my teens/early twenties and can’t handle the aftermath of a heavy alcohol-induced night out as I used to back in the day.

Let’s be frank here – I’m not going to bluff and say the clichéd phrase “I will never drink again after last night”, because we all know what a load of bull that is when people utter such a statement. Instead, I’m going to offer you a list of simple things to do for the morning-after, where getting out of bed feels like a tumultuous feat in itself. I always like using the phrase ‘qed inħossni qisni qlajt daqqa ta trakk!’ (I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck) because, well, it’s apt.

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Remedies

Vitamin C tablets – To replenish your body of what it’s lost during drinking and to boost your energy.

Ibuprofen – To help stop that pounding headache and any other body aches you may be suffering from after a crazy night of debauchery.

Water – I cannot stress how important this is. Help rehydrate your body by drinking as much water as possible. Skip the coffee because, like alcohol, it’s a diuretic, so trust me when I say you need to ditch the caffeine for at least the next 12-24 hours until your body feels like it can breathe again.

Carbonated soda – To help your blood sugar level out and the carbonation helps relieve nausea.

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Activities

Sleep – Do this as much as you can to help your body recover and heal itself.

Take a shower – This will help you feel restored. Some people even say alternating between hot and cold water helps.

Swimming – Refreshing water and physical activity are a great way to feel almost immediate relief.

Sex – A good session in the sack releases oxytocin, which in turn reduces pain sensitivity and elevates mood.

Get moving – … But don’t overdo it, because you’ll end up dehydrating your body even further. Gentle physical exercise can help your body metabolise any leftover alcohol and detoxify your body.

Massage – This is known for releasing toxins, and may help you recover a little more quickly.

Foods

Salted crackers – These are especially good if you can barely stomach anything. The salt and carbs help start the recovery process and they’re gentle on your stomach.

Chicken Soup – The protein in chicken will provide nutrients for your body, and the liquid itself offers more hydration.

Eggs – These contain cysteine, which counteracts acetaldehyde, a product of alcohol metabolism that’s more poisonous than alcohol itself, and is produced when the alcohol in the liver is broken down by an enzyme called alcohol dehydrogenase. So scramble some up and put on a slice of toast for some carbs to help absorb the remnants of alcohol still swigging around.

Honey – The potassium in honey will help get your body back on track, so add some to tea or just eat it straight.

Pasta and rice – These are full of carbs that help your blood sugar level out.

Pickled or canned fish – The high mineral content in these foods are supposed to help your body recover.

Fresh fruit – These will help replace the vitamins you lost and hydrate your body.

Banana smoothie – This is full of potassium and often hyped as an excellent hangover cure.

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So there you have it, a concise but hopefully helpful list any party animal should print and stick onto their bedroom door. Now I’m off to bed, as I need to catch up on some much needed Zs.