PROOF THAT THE MALTESE WERE IN LORD OF THE RINGS

If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. The Maltese are well and truly hobbits of the Shire. Then again, our temperament is also quite similar to that of the dwarves, and – as much as we may hate to admit it – there is no way in hell we hold any similarity to the elves.

I mean, they’re vegan, for God’s sake.

Could I just start off my analogy by saying that Tolkien was a devout Catholic. Well, what other faith would the man who came up with a vertically challenged, hairy, food- and firework-loving folk have? Sounds all too familiar, really.

And here are the lovely folk of Ħal Hobbiton, celebrating the feast of San Gandalf is-Salvatur.

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Samwise Gamgee knows the value of a good fenkata.

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Actually, do these two know they’re kindred spirits?

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Tolkien’s Aragorn has often been compared by literary critics to Christ the Messiah. If there’s going to be a Maltese adventure, you can be certain that Jesus is going to be coming along for the ride.

Aragorn

Legit.

Like young virile male dwarves, the Maltese do go weak in the knees for tall Nordic elvish folk.

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“Amralime”, of course, which means “X’nagħmillek Lilly” in Khuzdul.

 

Speaking of secret languages, like the dwarves, we stick to swearing in our own tongue, one whose phonetics and vocabulary can only capture the true essence of our sentiments.

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We are incredibly suspicious of foreigners with dreams and ambitions…

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Until we realise we can get something shiny and precious out of them.

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Our families are our beasts of burden, who are constantly on the warpath for our business and inheritance.

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Both hobbits and the Maltese cannot survive without second helpings. What about second pastizzi?

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And we’re both enthralled by our pints, especially if they’re Cisk.

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