THE WEIRDEST INTERNET TRENDS

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We’ve planked and taped our faces… but seriously, have we ever stopped to think how weird all these Internet trends are?

I weep for my son’s future.

When I was young, all we had to worry about was the outside world and all the wolves in sheep’s clothing our parents warned us we’d meet along the way. Nowadays, on top of that, and on top of the dangers that the Internet brings with it – such as cyber bullying and paedophiles – we also have the trends that make the rounds a couple of times a year.

Not all of them have been physically dangerous, mind you; some were just stupid. But I worry because I don’t want my kid to become a mindless fool who thinks wearing a condom on his head and blowing it up with his nose is cool. Discovering David Bowie is cool; going out on his first date is cool; trying out new hairstyles is cool. Taking a selfie with a homeless person isn’t. It’s cruel and disgusting.

But, let’s leave my maternal instincts behind, and let’s go through the weirdest ones together.

 

The Funeral Selfie

It’s pretty much what it says on the tin. Go to a funeral and take a selfie, preferably with the casket behind you. Seriously, there are few things I consider sacred in this world, but respect at a funeral is definitely one of them. Obviously, the dimwits that hold our future in their hands thought it was cool, which is why you can find a picture of Obama, Cameron and Thorning-Schmidt (Prime Minister of Denmark) taking one at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service…

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Cutting for Bieber

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Yes, all over social media, tweens and teens slit their wrists – thankfully, the wrong way, cause most of them didn’t die – for Justin Bieber. A lot of people did it to take the piss out of the real #cutforBieber trend-setters, but still…

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The Homeless Selfie

Find a homeless person and snap a selfie with him or her. What’s so wrong with that? Oh honey, everything is wrong with that. How about some dignity for that poor soul? How about giving him or her some money instead? Can people really be this idiotic?

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The Cinnamon Challenge

Can you swallow a spoonful of ground cinnamon within 60 seconds without drinking water? Chances are you can’t, and even if you can, you shouldn’t. Sniffing cinnamon can cause you to vomit and even find it hard to breathe. It’s also a waste of perfectly good cinnamon that could have gone into some nice pastries – did you ever think about that, you selfish fool?

 

Snorting Condoms

What do you do when you don’t have enough sex but you have a surplus of condoms? U ajma, Evelyn, hi (Oh, come on Evelyn). Mhux you snort it hux? (You snort it, don’t you?) Clearly, back in my day, when we managed to get our hands on a packet of condoms, we’d just praise the Lord that the man wouldn’t have to pull out before he came…

 

So yes, all this worries me, and I hope my child never slits his wrists for a pop star or wastes a condom. Life’s too short for all this rubbish.

 

Had you ever heard of these Internet trends? Let us know what you think in the comment section below.

 

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