DO WE UNDERVALUE SEX?

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An orgasm can be reached in 5 to 10 minutes or less, and many people don’t bother wasting more time than that on their sexual activities.

Some may ask, ‘why waste so much time when pleasure is so easy to achieve? Why make it a long and difficult process?’

These are the wrong questions to ask. It’s not that it is a long and difficult journey to achieve pleasure, but that many people like to achieve it in a lengthy and exquisite way. I can go to McDonald’s and eat a €2 burger in three minutes, and I’ll even be full up. However, it’s not the way I’d like to dine. I’d rather go to a French restaurant, eat a three-course meal and wash it down with a bottle of good wine. It will be lengthy, beautiful and tasty to the palate. I will achieve physical and aesthetic pleasure, and it will relax my body and mind. It’s the same with sex.

People can have sex for 14 hours in a row, not because they can’t climax faster, but because they simply enjoy the ride. They submerge into the process and take pleasure in it, rather than try to get rid of an unwelcome urge in the quickest way possible. It’s similar to hunger really. You may snack, or you may go out for a full meal. One must respect his or her desires and give them quality satisfaction. I am, for instance, a hedonist. I love physical pleasures. I enjoy them. I love my body and I never denounce it. I like to satisfy my body, feed it tasty foods, massage it and lie in the sun. I like to move it, dance, train and relax in water. I can do all of this for hours, and I freely spare the required time, as pleasures improve the quality of life.

I personally don’t understand why for some people, it’s ok to spend a whole day on social media, but a pity to waste a couple of hours three or four times a week on sex. When I go to the swimming pool, I’ll stay there for a couple of hours. When I go for a walk to the playground or to a park with my child, I’ll also stay there for at least two or three hours. If I go to the beach, it’ll easily be half a day. Do you personally go to a museum for five minutes? How is sex somehow less worthy than a visit to a museum?

Some prefer sex to virtual communication. While the latter only satisfies the hunger for information, sex may give full satisfaction – physically, psychologically, aesthetically, morally, spiritually, emotionally, energetically, creatively and physiologically. Sex is a very important part of a relationship. It’s a chance to explore your own body and that of your partner’s. It’s a multi-level psycho-physiological connection and a way to express our feelings. It’s a break from the burdens and problems of life. It’s actually quite similar to meditation, and it might even prove to sometimes be the actual solution to problems between partners. It’s a moment of closeness and junction. Therefore, how can you merge with someone in five minutes?

Sex is being greatly undervalued, and that’s why for some, it is merely f***ing, poking and humping. For others, it is making love. It’s not that some people overrate sex; it’s that some underestimate it. I’m not saying that a casual quickie cannot be blissful. When you want to gobble on that burger, you have to do it the way you want to do it. But, if you start eating burgers every day, the bliss of spontaneity will fade. Eat the way you want to eat, have sex the way you want to have it, but keep in mind that the same process can be presented on different plates under a variety of sauces. Do not deprive yourself from choosing what is on the menu, and indulge in it.

 

More from Eve:  How to stop your sex life from becoming boring

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