BEING PRESENT

For some, being present represents the new style of conscious relationships.

Before the distractions of SMS, Facebook and other social interaction sites, people were more present. They were emotionally in the room with you as well as physically. Now, at every restaurant, bar, bus stop, train and public space, most people have their head down looking into their mobile device, scrolling, typing or reading.

The same happens at home. Children are somewhere else, as are adults – at least, their mind is.

The mobile device lives by the bed, and for many is the last connection with the world at night and the first in the morning. I am not criticising the internet. It is wonderful that we can connect with people, but we must also make space for our loved ones and friends, where we are present in mind and body for them.

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We live in times where more than 50% of relationships fail. Being present is not just about being with someone, or even switching off your mobile device. It is deeper than that. Being present is looking into your partner’s eyes, touching, doing things together, taking a walk in nature, creating food, listening to music and yes, cuddling up to watch a film together. It is a shared experience. It is sometimes ‘being’, sometimes ‘doing’ and sometimes in silence. Connect with your partner with energy. Feel each other’s energy. Breathing together is one technique.

Being present is seen differently by different people. Someone with insecurities will feel you are not present if your eyes wander to an attractive person passing by. Someone else will say, “I love you because you are present for me, you understand me and you know what I need all the time” and knows that sometimes you need your space just as she needs hers. Life is about balance. Relationships should be about two people bringing positive loving energies to each other and encouraging the best out of each other. Being present is giving strength and support, about being sensitive to what the other likes and needs, and also to the dislikes.

Being present makes the other feel loved and wanted, and allows relationships to thrive.

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