HOW TO TAKE THE PERFECT NUDE SELFIE

Nothing says ‘I want you inside me’ more than a nude selfie – but don’t just snap it and send it. Be wise about it.

Taking a nude selfie and sending it to someone gives you one of the most powerful adrenaline rushes ever. That moment in between sending it and hearing what he or she will do to the part you’ve exposed is electrifying.

But just like Instagrammers have proven that the perfect selfie is the fruit of hard labour, so must we understand that the there are rules and methods to taking the ultimate nude selfie that will serve its purpose… which brings us straight to my first point.

Establish a purpose. A nude selfie must always have a purpose. Are you sending it to fuel desire? Do you want to show that MOFO what he’s lost? Or do you want to get her to leave the party and have some rowdy sex at home? Figure out why you’re going to send it, as that will help you choose the appropriate thing to snap. To me, the rule of thumb is the following: bum to make someone jealous, breasts and panties to get them horny, and dick when you really want the other person to gag for it.

It’s all in the angle. Kylie Jenner famously takes 500 selfies before choosing the right one to post on social media, and that’s why she looks perfect in all of them. Don’t just snap a picture of your willy and send it. Take the photo from different angles and experiment with the flash and filters. Same thing goes for you, ladies!

Get ready and set before you take action. I’ve always been an advocate for good grooming, and I always will be. Taming your bush, buffering your skin, filing your nails, and clipping your nose hair are very important, especially if you’re sending a nude selfie. Why? Well, as aforementioned, nude selfies come with a purpose, and if that purpose is you meeting up with someone to have a shag, you’ll want to make sure reality meets expectations.

Be aware of the receiver’s surroundings. I used to love sending my partner nude selfies when we were out to dinner, but I always made sure I sent them to him when he was on his way to the bathroom. No, not to jerk off to them, but to make sure no one else saw them by mistake. So, unless they tell you where they are, don’t be afraid to ask! Here’s a side note – I obviously didn’t take the photos at the table, I had taken them before in the bathroom to make sure they looked perfect first.

Stay safe. Revenge porn is an ugly thing. It’s the STD of sending nude selfies. So always take precautions: Do you have a tattoo? Cover it in your selfie. Do you have a face? Thank goodness. Just make sure it doesn’t show. Do you have a signature piece of jewellery? Remove it. Take away anything that can incriminate you or with which others can identity you by before snapping away!

So there you have it. The ultimate five-step rulebook to taking the perfect nude selfie that will have the receiver dripping with want and with no leverage to blackmail you with.

Oh, and yes, I’m over 40 and still send nude selfies. Sue me.

Have you ever sent a nude selfie?

Let us know in the comment section.