Long Distance Breakup

long-distance-relationships-2

I am 20 years old and I’ve been in relationship with a guy for 3 years… We both loved each other very much. It was a long distance relationship and I’ve fallen for a guy in college. We used to spend the whole day together. I fell in love with him… and I thought of leaving my ex because I can’t cheat and lie to him. I thought that leaving him is the better option. I know I did wrong, but it was such a tough situation. I still love that guy and he is mad about me, but I can’t live without the guy with whom I spend all the time in college. I know its a complicated problem but I don’t think I can hold on to a long distance relationship.

Dear Preet,

There are challenges in every relationship, one way or an other, and when a relationship is long distance it’s one more bump in the road. And no, it is not for everyone. Sometimes it turns out to be too big a bump if there isn’t the energy or motivation  to ride over it and sometimes it’s just that a relationship has reached a natural end even though you still love each other.

It seems like your mind is already made up, as you’re already referring to him as your ex, and what is bothering you is your guilt at ending a relationship with someone who is crazy about you and that you have feelings for someone else.

Take it easy on yourself. While your ex may not see it now, in the long run he will appreciate that you are being honest and respectful towards him. The end of a relationship is never easy and the person being broken up with can definitely do without the added sense of betrayal and bitterness that dishonesty from a loved one brings about. It is far better to look back at a relationship with fondness and gratitude for while it lasted than to have an ending tinged with unnecessary pain that casts a shadow on all the good parts of the relationship that was.

We are always learning about ourselves and what we need to be happy and even more so at your age when you can do so unfettered by other commitments and responsibilities. Follow your heart, test the waters and learn from the choices you make. Doing it with consideration towards others is all the more remarkable.

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