Seasonal Breakups

©CORBIS

Over these past few years, I have noticed that there seem to be peak seasons for relationship break ups.

There comes a time when suddenly Facebook is clogged up with changed relationship statuses and all your friends seem to be splitting up, a time when you look around you and realise that new groups of singletons are being formed, while other people seem to fall entirely off the social grid, moping at home most likely.

So what is happening? Do seasonal break-ups actually exist or are they a figment of my imagination?

It is scientifically proven that the weather in general affects human moods, therefore it also stands to reason that the change of seasons does too. Picture this – it is spring, and summer is just around the corner, everyone starts talking about new beach hangouts, boat parties, outdoor events and a new spate of sexy tourists will soon be gracing our shores too … and you are stuck with a boring partner whom, you realise, has become more like a pair of concrete stone blocks tied to your feet than the inspiring and fun charmer s/he had been in the beginning.

You also realise that by remaining tied to this individual, your summer verve will probably get nipped in the bud. The obvious instinctive move is to get rid of the extra baggage, move on and look forward to an unspoilt season of fun in the sun.

Most break-ups seem to occur between the months of mid-April / May, that is, at the end of spring. This could also be due to our spring-cleaning mentality – out with the old, in with the new right? These two months, however, are not the only danger zone when it comes to rocky couples re-evaluating their position.

Another seasonal break-up peak usually takes place during late autumn, that is, October/November.

Conversely, some couples realise that there are certain issues they would like to change but decide to give it another go and plough on for a while longer. These tend to dilute some of the stress of being together by going out more with friends or in groups. During the summer months, this somehow works and they temporarily try to ignore the issues between them.

With the end of summer, the hype, energy and number of events start to diminish and you realise that, once again, you are faced with a person that you are no longer interested in and with whom you have to spend the rest of the ‘quieter months’ with.

Those who enjoy a night in, preparing a home cooked meal served with a great bottle of wine and followed by a movie and a cuddle actually look forward to this time of year, but it is a totally different story if you simply cannot be bothered to waste any more time with someone.

Another key factor of late autumn break-ups is the looming of Christmas with all its family gatherings and celebrations. It is usually the perfect excuse for couples to introduce their partners to their parents and to the rest of the family.

This is an occasion most couples dread, but which is necessary for the development of a serious relationship, HOWEVER when one of the persons involved is not at all certain s/he wants the relationship to even continue, this is also the perfect time to realise that. Your parents want the best for you and we all know that certain relationships are simply not meant to become serious at all.

In other words, Christmas becomes a wake-up call. It is time to take stock of where you are, where you want to go, and whether you want the other person to be there when you arrive.

In a nutshell, therefore, late spring (mid-April – May) makes you question whether you can have fun and enjoy life with a particular someone, while autumn (October – November) leads you to take stock of the other person, his/her actual connection with you, and whether you want to take this to the next level.

If you find someone whom you can stand to be with all year round, with whom you can have fun, while at the same time treasuring those quiet months where you revel in each other in romantic bliss, then you have passed one of the most important hurdles in any relationship.