Things Men Don’t Get About Beauty

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If you’re a woman, then chances are the men in your life just don’t get your beauty regime.

I too have such men in my life, and I realised just how unaware they are of what really goes on when I went out on a date the other day.

It was a man I didn’t know well at all, and granted I was 30 minutes late, but I wanted to look nice – I’d been with the same partner for five years, this was a big occasion for me. But then I get there, smelling and looking all nice, and when I apologise for being late and tell him that it took me a bit longer than anticipated to get ready, instead of him thinking, “Hmm… I wonder how groomed she is down there…” he actually said “Pero… I never get why it takes women so long to get ready.”

Excuse me!? You don’t? Well, I shall explain!

Comment: “Pero… why does it always you take so long to get ready?”

Answer: You try shaving your underarms, legs and bikini line; showering; washing your long hair, drying it, and straightening or curling it; plucking your eyebrows; applying make up (which entails – at the very least – the application of concealer, foundation, blusher, mascara, eyeliner and lipstick); and choosing the right outfit in less than an hour and a half. Your wash-and-go attitude is just ridiculous. And if you think we can’t see the stray hairs popping out of your nostrils or the bit of facial hair you forgot to shave off – you’re wrong! Maybe next time you should take some more time to get ready.

Comment: “Pero… your hair still looks the same…”

Answer: Your mother still looks the same! How could our hair, after having it cut, blow dried and styled, still look the same? Does your sausage look the same after you groom it? Thought so.

Comment: “Pero… those nails make you look like Grace Borg.”

Answer: First of all, you should be more careful because these nails can double as weapons of mass destruction. Secondly, they’re a statement, and if that means telling the whole world that I would dis a minister in public if I had the opportunity to, so be it!

Comment: “Pero… what was the point in applying that facemask for 20 minutes if you’re going to cover your skin up with make-up?”

Answer: Because: A) I can. B) I care for my skin. And C) have you seen the pores on your nose? We don’t wear make-up to cover up, we wear make-up to accentuate our features. Duh.

Comment: “Pero… I don’t get why you spend so much money on beauty products and beauty parlours…”

Answer: We live in a capitalist society: no good or service comes for free. Do you get your shaving foam for free? Did your mother buy baby shampoo for free? Did you get that ingrown toenail removed for free? I didn’t think so. Good products command higher prices, get used to it.

Do you agree with Evelyn? Should her date have said that? Let us know in the comments’ section below!