How To Buy Adult Toys Online

Whether it’s because a person of flesh and blood is missing, or to help up the love-game with your partner, sex toys are all the rage, but how do you go about buying them?

I have such fond memories of Josh the vibrator. He has been with me for about 10 years and he’s never let me down. When I left my husband, between the man with the tattoo sleeve and the one who was up his own bottom, in dark days and sleepless nights – Josh was there for me through thick and thin, literally.

But buying sex toys is an intimate business. While I’m here exposing my plastic lover to the whole world, I am hoping that those of you who need some extra luvin’ but don’t want others to know, will manage to keep it secret.

But how?

Trust: Buying sex toys is a matter of trust: you need to trust the company you’re getting them from, and the objects themselves. There are various ways of finding out whether a company is good or not, particularly through word of mouth and research. You should also trust the person you’re discussing this with – don’t just go blabbering to your sister-in-law about getting anal beads, that’s just weird and you might be in for a ‘treat’.

Payment: If the website doesn’t let you pay using Pay-Pal, then don’t forget to hide your bank statement when it comes next. Nevertheless, you should always buy sex toys from a website that accepts Pay-Pal because it’s safe, easy-to-use, and completely personal. So don’t be crack-brained – find a site that accepts Pay-Pal!

Packaging: If you’re in doubt about how the company packages their products, send an e-mail first. You don’t want to end up with a nice pink parcel with ‘Vagenie 2000’ or ‘Dildosaurus’ or ‘PlasticLove.com’ on it.

Delivery: If you’re going to have your dildo or vaginal pump delivered to your place of work, then I hope you don’t think you’re very smart. Have it delivered to your home or a friend’s house, and make sure that you’re there on the estimated delivery date. Don’t let your husband/boyfriend/mother/father open it, unless it’s something you’re planning on sharing with the first two (also, don’t forget that sharing it with the last two is illegal).

Hygiene: Anything that’s going inside you and is made from plastic should be disinfected. Fact.

Do you have any more tips on how to buy sex toys online safely? Let us know!