How to prevent your boobs from sagging

Saggy boobs are one of the 20 gazillion things you can expect when ageing, right? Wrong!

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It’s a sad truth, my fellow breasted ladies, that as we grow older, things start to change. We get fine lines and wrinkles, we get crow’s feet on our eyes, losing weight becomes harder, our back starts to ache, our hair begins to grey and thin, and our boobs sag until they’re a red carpet welcoming us everywhere we go.

From the moment our breasts have fully grown, gravity begins to take its toll on them. And, while the change is predictable, it can still have a colossal impact on our self-esteem.

But there are ways of helping your puppies combat the pull of gravity – I just wish I had found out about them before I turned 40!

Keeping a stable weight can help breasts remain perky. Tits are 70% fat, mixed with the glands to form the main part of your milk-makers, and yo-yoing in size can have a deep and lasting effect on our boobs.

Cigarettes can also affect our boobs’ density as they affect our production of collagen. Our face loses its elasticity, our boobs drop down to the floor. So quitting smoking can help them remain in place.

The right exercise regime can also help with keeping your knockers perky. The most vital thing, however, is to wear a sports bra that hugs your money-makers and keeps them in place. Bouncing, you should know, does not help when it comes to staying up, although it might get some perv to check you out.

Don’t wear a bra. (I can already hear the whispers: Din Evelyn x’inhi tghid? Habtilha rasha mat-tustiera l-partner jew?) But, according to a French researcher, wearing a bra causes your boobs to become lazy. Whether that’s true or not, I’m not sure, but I can see the logic. If I were a marionette I wouldn’t make much effort to stand on my feet, so when I was forced to I’d droop down like an ice-cream sundae on a hot day.

Stop saying ‘Thanks God’: This won’t really affect your boobies but it’s not how it’s said. It’s ‘Thank God’.

What do you think of Evelyn’s advice? Any other tips you can think of? Let us know!

Check out this article about breasts: These Boobs Were Made For Nursing. And That’s Just What They’ll Do!

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