What to do?

couple talking

Hi,

I am in a relationship which has been very bumpy these past months. Sometimes I feel like I’m in seventh heaven and sometimes I am sick of this relationship. He feels the same way from time to time. We talked about this but we end up being in the same situation again after some time. I am afraid to take a step that I might regret since he is a very good guy and respects me, but we are taking this for granted… To tell you the truth, I got to know someone these last 2 weeks through a friend who told me that he has been crazy about me for this past year but I never knew since he didn’t want to interfere with my relationship. I am confused and I don’t know what I want… I already talked to my boyfriend and concluded that we may take a break for now… but I think I know how I will feel after this which means a break-up… what do you suggest?

Thank you for the help,

Nori.

Dear Nori,

It seems like you already know what you want. Spending some time apart is a good idea to clear your head and some distance will give you perspective on the matter.

Gaining clarity might not be that easy if there is someone else in line as the excitement and novelty of dating someone new might cloud your judgement and confuse your feelings. If it is escapism you are looking for then go ahead and dive right in – some people find it helps at the end of a relationship when it is really over – but if you are not certain do not rush in as it might burn the bridges for good with your current boyfriend, which you may end up regretting. Also, you might want to be discreet at first to spare his feelings if the break-up is painful.

On the other hand, if you feel it is not working out and you are just dragging out the ending, you would be passing up an opportunity of being with a suitable potential partner with whom you could have a harmonious relationship.

Listen to your gut instinct. Your inner voice will guide you if you give it the silence it needs to be heard. Meditating, walks in nature and by the sea, spontaneous journal writing will quiet your mind and give you clarity.