Sixty Minutes of Solitude

bench

With all the busyness of life and all the commitments we have, it is difficult to find time to be in absolute quiet and silence with no distractions, especially since we are constantly bombarded by notifications and beeps from the plethora of devices that we carry around with us.

So when I found myself on a university bench one afternoon, under the shade of the trees and the warm breeze wafting by, I realised that I hadn’t passed a moment of quiet like this in ages and that I had found a golden opportunity to sit down and think.

I had been in a state of constant dilemma for months, and as autumn has been drawing closer the moment of decision has too. I have written many times about how important it is to be courageous, to follow one’s dreams, I had written what I wholly believed from the comfort of my room, but now that I am facing a real decision at hand, hypotheses and dreams are slowly falling through, mingling with other feelings of fear, failure, loss and worry.

The process of making a life changing decision is not easy. Leaving your comfort zone to do something completely different than what you had done for the last twenty years of your life is certainly no joking matter.

As I sat down in the quietness and solitude thinking about my predicament I weighed what I have to lose or leave behind. What have I to gain and what will I find when I come back?

I had to finally decide what my fate will be. I burst into tears as I realised that, for once, I am making a decision for myself, taking responsibility for it – and I feel alive.