Infections Preventing Sex

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years and we’re 23. After a few months into our relationship I had some recurring infections ‘down there’ and this lasted a whole year. I never wanted to be intimate since I was uncomfortable all the time.

Now I am much better and really want to be intimate with him and I know he wants to also. However, I find it hard to be in the mood now. I remember that before the infections it was much easier. I really love him but I feel broken. What should I do?

Dear Lilly,

It’s always a bugger when physical intimacy with your partner is interrupted because of recurring infections, not to mention the physical discomfort itself! Every woman at some point in her life will be susceptible to some infection in her private parts.

Have you gone to your gynaecologist or GP for a correct diagnosis of the problem? And have you checked whether your partner needs treatment too? Otherwise you may have been passing on the infection to each other. Vaginal trush or Candida albicans is a common yeast infection. Bacterial Vaginosis is often misdiagnosed for Trush and unless the appropriate treatment is prescribed (usually antibiotics and a vaginal gel to rebalance the PH in the vagina), the infection can keep recurring. It is important to get yourself checked by a doctor you trust and if you do not get to the bottom of it, do go for a second and third opinion, if need be, to an other doctor, perhaps one that specialises in women’s health, until you do.

If you’re finding it hard to be in the mood, it might be because you are not totally free of the infection yet, and it is best to listen to what your body is telling you. You say that you are now “much better”. Unless you are totally free of infections it is better not to be intimate because if you are dry you can get sore, aggravating the infection. If you have been tested and know what type of infection you have, looking up which foods to avoid and which foods will help you heal can be helpful. Sometimes the simplest cures are the most effective. Also beware that some intimate hygiene products on the market may cause uncomfortable symptoms themselves, which may get the money-wheel turning but won’t be helping your case, if you know what I mean.

Homoeopathy is a type of energy medicine that is often effective for this sort of thing, especially if it is stress related or related to a feeling of insecurity, which can cause these type of infections. If you haven’t already tried it, making an appointment with a suitably qualified homoeopath might prove to be a solution. Your health is your responsibility so keep an open mind and actively seek an effective treatment for this problem until it is sorted. Do not feel bad about checking out all options available to us, even if met with resistance from some old-fashioned doctors who do not know enough about some alternative therapies they criticise.

I can understand that you’re feeling “broken” as this problem can effect your mood in general when it occurs over a long period of time, but in the meantime, be patient and even if it’s not the same thing, I’m sure you can be very creative when it comes to expressing your love to your boyfriend!